Deck the Halls with Vital Wheat Gluten

I hope the eight of you enjoyed festive holidays with your loved ones. We had a nice enough time in San Diego, unless you count the fact that my mom's new puppy launched a full frontal attack on me including strategically placed turd piles, vomit blobs on seating arrangements, lack of bladder control in my lap, and possibly even the triggering of my immune system with her dander. Either that or I got a nasty virus. Regardless, it succeeded in sending me to bed mere minutes before our Feliz Navidad Surf and Turf Fiesta was served. Which is to say, I missed Christmas Dinner.

But I still managed to have a little fun. Prior to the onslaught of my disease, my loving and adventurous family agreed to become guinea pigs for an all vegetarian Christmas Eve dinner. This time I stayed far, far away from Vegetarian Times, instead taking the advice of my friend Rema's friend Jen who swears by The Post Punk Kitchen blog. I actually already own Vegan with a Vengeance and have long been a fan of Isa Chandra Moskowitz's Faustess Cupcakes, but I had mostly shied away from her savory dishes. That is, until the Night Before Christmas.

The menu:
Chickpea Cutlet Parmesan
and
Mama HCB's Butternut Squash Ravioli with Sage Butter Sauce.

(No, they don't really go together, but I knew the ravioli were safe while the chickpea cutlets were a big gamble. And if you're wondering how Parmesan is vegan, it's not. The addition of cheese and homemade tomato sauce was mine.)

At first, not even Grandma was stirring...



But once everybody dug in, they couldn't stop raving about the chickpea cutlets. My parents even had seconds! A new addition the Vegetarian Recipetoire. Owww!!

Oh, and as far as the giving was concerned, everybody LOVED not doing it. We kept saying how relaxed we all were - no trash, no clutter, and no unwanted crap to store guiltily or shunt to the GoodWill. We're doing it again next year. All told, a Christmas to remember - and replicate.


Mama HCB's Butternut Squash Ravioli with Sage Butter Sauce

1 small butternut squash
Olive oil
1/3 cup freshly grated Parmesan Cheese
1 tbsp rosemary leaves, finely chopped
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
Pinch of ground nutmeg
1 egg white
1 double package wonton wrappers
1/2 cup butter
36 fresh sage leaves

1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.

2. Cut the squash in half, remove the seeds and then cut into wedges/disks, leaving the skin on. Place the squash in a lightly oiled roasting pan. Roast for 1 to 1 1/4 hours, or until squash is soft. Remove from the oven and leave the squash to cool.

3. Discard the skin. Pass the squash through a food mill or puree in a food processor. You need 1 cup of pureed squash.

4. Add the cheese and rosemary to the squash and season with the salt, pepper and nutmeg.

5. Whisk the egg white with 1 tsp of water. Place one wonton wrapper on the counter and top with approx 2 tsp of the squash mixture. Brush the edges of the wonton wrapper with egg white, then top with a second wrapper. Press to seal well. If desired, trim edges with a fluted pastry wheel (not even I do this). Repeat with the remaining wrappers. Place the ravioli in a single layer on towel-lined baking sheets, and cover with another towel.

6. Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil and drop in a small batch of ravioli. Cook until the ravioli float and become transparent, about 3 minutes. Drain well. Repeat.

7. Meanwhile, saute butter and sage leaves in large pan over medium-high heat. As each batch of ravioli is cooked and drained, add them to the pan. Flip each ravioli to coat with butter. Serve on warmed plates with a few sage leaves.

Final Gift Tally

HCB recognized my Christmas despondency and sprang into action, taking over all the buying of retail gifts for his nieces and nephews. I believe we ended up giving books, craft kits, and educational-type things. It's New Stuff, but at least it's not princess-plastic-pesky stuff.

For HCB's parents, we bought some plates and bowls to replace broken pieces from their china pattern. Very practical.

As for my lady friends, you don't know this yet, but you're getting bees. Because the world needs more of them and more of you.

We are now in Southern California with my family, and everyone is SO MUCH MORE RELAXED. My mom especially is loving it. Not buying presents turns out to be the best gift we've ever given each other. I think tonight we're going to make soup and go to a movie. Ahhh.

All told, I have avoided New Gifting in all possible instances, which comes with the immense side benefit of never once entering a crowded mall, trolling for parking on Hayes Street, running up my credit card, swearing at the price of expedited shipping on Amazon, or purchasing a single striped Gap scarf.

I gotta say, eschewing the traditional consumerist Christmas is the gift that truly keeps on giving.

Christmas Update

Mostly I am pretending it's not happening.

We did avoid consumer goods for a couple of the HCB nieces with a family zoo membership. Otherwise we're at a loss with the kiddos.

And we have had to ditch our Mexican Family Vacation due to murderous infighting between rival drug cartels. Instead, I've suggested that we each choose one local group activity to share over the holidays. I am currently deciding between a restorative yoga class and dinner at one of San Diego's only farm-to-table restaurants while hoping somebody else picks Christmas cookie baking or a waffle blow-out on Christmas morning. HCB is contemplating putting the whole family on ice skates. Man, I cannot wait to see that.

Quicken Earth November: Finish Line In Sight

Here it is, the eve of my final month of avoiding Newness. Back in January when I told people about this experiment, they deemed me a nutbar and silently (or not so silently) wrote me off. I have to admit that I too had my doubts; after all, there are sales associates all over town who know me by first name. But now that I've made it 11 months without managing to look like a homeless person or Ed Begley Jr, the response is totally different. People are impressed. And I guess I'm proud. By no means have I been the vision of restraint throughout this process, but I have achieved my stated goal: to become more conscious of my consumption. More on that later.

OOPS!
If I had started buying Christmas presents for far-flung HCB nieces and nephews like I was supposed to, I'd have something to talk about here. Instead I'm just a bad aunt.

NECESSITIES

Same old, same old. Plus a hard-won turkey.

CREATIVE CONSUMPTION (i.e. USED ARTICLES)
Aforementioned roasting pan, batter bowl, and red shoes, plus mod teal necklace ($6)


and ethnic ceramic candlesticks that even HCB admires (99 cents each).


I'm telling you people: THE DESERT. Just drive down Highway 111 from Washington Street to downtown Palm Springs. It's like shooting fish in a barrel.

Oh! And a 1964 paperback issue of Ian Fleming's Diamonds are Forever (49 cents). It was a Bond Thanksgiving.

UP FOR DISCUSSION
This one is painful to admit. I was halfway to Renaissance Salon for my hair dye experiment when I realized I had left my camera at home. Now that you've seen how fierce Lucas is, I'm sure you can understand that being late for an appointment is not an option. And neither was not having a camera. SO I BOUGHT A KODAK FUNSAVER. TO DOCUMENT AN ECO EXPERIMENT. YES I SEE THE IRONY.

The good news is that I did some research, and it turns out that disposable cameras are the most recycled consumer product on the planet. With a recovery rate of 75%, they're even ahead of aluminum cans. Who knew? I then made sure that Walgreen's, the place where I had the camera processed, participated in the recycling program. They do. So I feel a little better. I'm not by any means advocating the use of these things - for God's sake, remember your damn digital camera. But whereas I originally planned to put this purchase in the Oops! column, I've moved it down here to the discussion section so that all you haters can tell me what you really think.

ABSTENTIONS
As I approach the finish line, all I can think about is a MacBook, an iPhone, and a good office chair. I've probably wasted a good month of my life this year devising work-arounds for my technology deficiencies. And my back is killing me.

The Jenn Pattee Holiday Challenge

My friend Jenn Pattee is nothing short of a phenomenon. In addition to being an excellent personal trainer and the founder of her own outdoor fitness program, Basic Training, she is also one of the most genuinely creative and inspiring people I know. Everyone who spends time with Jenn leaves with great ideas...and possibly a hangover, if she's not training for a race. (She is also a VERY good time.) Another friend once described her as a good cancer - her awesomeness spreads.

Okay fine, so I have a girl crush on her. Who wouldn't? Check out those guns!



Anyway, one of Jenn's endless great ideas was that I should come up with the top ten experience gifts for the holidays - like a friendly Nothing New antidote to shopping blogs like MightyGoods.

So here goes, in no particular order:
UPDATE: The venerable JP herself has busted in with some additions to the list. Check 'em out!

10) BOOZE
Whether it's a bottle or a glass, people love to share good spirits. Last year I hosted cocktail parties at the offices of my three biggest clients - which provided a dual PR purpose, since I'd done some writing for a vodka label that year. My clients still talk about those parties. Way more memorable - and less wasteful - than popcorn tubs or peppermint bark.

JP: Navarro Vineyards in the Anderson Valley is great for gifts and wine clubs. For Thanksgiving, I sent my sister a case of Navarro Non-Alcoholic Grape Juice (and Pinot) for dinner. It's a great non-alcoholic wine option for dinner.

9) DANCING
None of us gets enough dancing in our lives. Why not coordinate a night of groovin' for your girls and your gays in the Castro? I had hoped to do this for my birthday but haven't gotten it together yet...

8) BUTTER
Sure, there's a lot of sweet stuff exchanged during the holidays. But can any of it compare to your own handiwork? Homemade cookies beat their gourmet counterparts any day.

7.5) MEALS OUT
JP: My favorite places to order gift certificates for dinner are the Slow Club and Serpentine. The gift certificates themselves are printed on beautiful cards, and for $100, a couple can easily get a full meal with wine and dessert. Those places also serve great brunches. Nat adds: Universal Cafe, Zuni, and Mission Beach Cafe, esp for brunch.

7) POSH PU-ERH
My first job in San Francisco was as the manager of a teahouse, so I have something of a soft spot for Camellia Sinensis. This town provides high tea opportunities at every social strata - from posh to quirky to trad to hipster. Everybody walks away feeling special, and with a natural high to boot.

6) WALL FLOWERS
San Francisco is fast becoming a city without artists - and those who are left are truly starving. Original art not only adds something permanent and meaningful to your friend's life - it can also provide a meaningful start for the artist. Places like Creativity Explored and SF Camerawork are particularly compelling for their exploration of new and outsider talent.

5.5) PERSONAL POLISH
JP: International Orange on Fillmore Street is a *great* place to send friends. They regularly offer "web specials": $15-20 off $100 gift certificates. Again, the certificates themselves are wrapped beautifully so the recipient really feels like they are receiving a "present" to unwrap.

A-manicure-a-month is nice, too. My all-time favorite spots are the Barber Lounge on Folsom Street and The Pampered Girl in Hayes Valley. You can combine the gift certificate with Zoya non-toxic nail polish from Whole Foods or Real Foods.

5) SOUNDTRACKS
What's more inspiring and memorable than music? I just read this article in The New York Times about bespoke domestic soundtracks. What an excellent idea, particularly if you hire my brilliant friend Ted of Bagel Radio. He doesn't know I'm suggesting this, and I'm not even sure he would do it. But if he would, oh man would you be glad. I've just hired him to make me a writing soundtrack.

4) SKILLZ
Cooking classes, art classes, singing lessons, writing seminars, autoshop, wine tasting, gardening...everybody has something to learn. And when you choose to learn together, you have memories for life.

JP: Cavallo Point has cooking classes and all sorts of retreats. It's a beautiful "destination vacation" that's just across from the Golden Gate Bridge. The Apple Farm offers weekend cooking classes on a functioning apple orchard in Anderson Valley. The cabins are adorable, and it's a great way to bond with a small group of chefs / aspiring chefs. Everyone cooks and eats together.

3.5) SKILLZ FOR YOUR PET
JP: My dog walker/trainer, Richard, is the best deal in town. He also works with owners to show them how to walk and train their own dogs. Richard Devera
(408) 829-8049

3) INTELLECTUAL STIMULATION
When you live in a city as culturally diverse as this one, it can be tough to take advantage of all the possibilities. Gift memberships to museums, City Arts & Lectures, or the Commonwealth Club can provide a yearlong excuse for friends to bond over a drink and a think.

2) GOODWILL
My friend Liza and I always splurge on birthday gifts, so a couple Christmases ago, we decided to give to others during the holidays. There are the larger organizations like Habitat for Humanity and Heifer International, but I also love the local enterprises like 826 Valencia and Glide Memorial.

1.5) HEALTH
JP: You can always treat someone to bootcamp classes with Basic Training!($20-$400)
You can also buy the runner in your life race registrations. It's an awesome way to support their running. Active.com is where you can check out upcoming races. Race fees are not refundable, so make sure your recipient is free that day.

1) LIFE
I speak, of course, of flora. Plants provide a friendly vista and fresh oxygen - two things we could all use more of - and at very little cost to the gifter or the giftee. I like to support local nurseries like Sloat and Flora Grubb - or you can always go big and do some planting with Friends of the Urban Forest. But you know, now that I think of it, I bet there's plenty of fauna that could use a home...perhaps a stray kitten for Christmas??

JP: Monica, the owner of Verde flowers in NOPA, is offering $50 classes in flower arranging. Her style is very modern, minimal, and lovely. She also uses a lot of unusual plants in her arrangements.

Whew, made it to ten. Anybody else want to add to the list?

No Such Luck.

Well, the jury is in on the folks - not my folks, the ones who own HCB's three million nieces and nephews. They have reluctantly voted against the experiences-for-Xmas thing. Apparently, they all love the idea, but find the scheduling problematic and ultimately, impractical.

Merf.

Of course, the news has sent me running straight back to my old flame. Have you SEEN the Crewcuts line? Seriously, who wouldn't want to dress their kid up like this?



Or this?



Or this?! GAWD!



(BTW, HCB has mostly nieces.)

Hard to ignore the gift of fashion when your green intentions fail you. We tried to give gift certificates to kids consignment shops once, but that didn't work out either. (Tough to assess used stores from a distance of several thousand miles.) So I don't know what we're going to do. Anybody seen any cool eco style for little girls?

And as for you, adorable adult-sized metallic ballet flats,



kindly refrain from haunting my dreams.

Feliz Navidad?

Christmas poses something of an obstacle when you're living La Vida Not New. And by "obstacle", I mean months of stress-induced gastro-intestinal discomfort. So I'm pretty excited that I may have conned my parents into ditching the Happy Holidays for (spoken with intonation of Price i$ Right announcer) A RELAXING WEEKEND SOMEWHERE IN MEXICO!

Getting my mom to agree to a shared vacation in lieu of gifts is a huge coup. Aside from the Not Buying on our end, her yen for playing Santa often leaves all 650 sq ft of Ugly Betty littered with tchotchkes of Cost Plus provenance - this way we get to avoid consumerism all around. Of course, that same yen could make her change her mind, so I'm not counting los pollos before they're hatched.

The next hurdle is the in-laws, including all 3 million of HCB's nieces and nephews. Last year we gave them experiences rather than actual presents, which we decided to do after watching them open actual presents. When kid after kid's eyes glaze over during what is supposed the most exciting moment of their miniature life, you know they have too much f-ing stuff. It took almost three months to find mom&baby salsa lessons, museum memberships, cave tours, botanical garden sleepovers and private art lessons in three countries. Before we do it again, we're waiting to hear if we created a huge pain in the ass for all the parents. And we're hoping for suggestions.